Read it Later: Fw: The day I realized I was an alpha male...

From: Michael Ellsberg <info@ellsberg.com>

Sent: Wednesday, July 1, 2015 8:18 AM

To: stevescott@techacq.com

Reply To: info@ellsberg.com

Subject: The day I realized I was an alpha male...

Recently, I was at lunch with an author I idolize--a multiple NYT-bestelling author you've definitely heard of.

Though he is kind of geeky looking, and talks with a very nasal tone, and thus doesn't look classically powereful at first glance, this guy is a pure alpha male. He is at the top of his game in a very competitive and hard-hitting career as a writer and journalist, has fans all over the world, earns millions of dollars through work he loves, lives in a mansion on the beach, cavorts with celebrities in every industry, and is happily married, with kids, to an amazing woman who would make any (straight) man salivate.

Somehow, the topic of alpha versus beta males came up (BTW, ladies, I'm going to be talking about alpha versus beta females coming up, so this is for you too…).

I told him that I don't identify as alpha, I identify as a confident, successful beta male. (I won't try to explain my reasoning here, but I wrote a Facebook post at the end of last year explaining this. BTW, if you don't follow my FB, you're missing out on like 90% of my best content. I share way more of my personal stuff there--though that's about to change, as this current email suggests!)

This man, who I'm probably going to be doing some public collaborations with soon, but whom I'll just call AlphaWriterGuy for now, looked at me, and said, "You're not a beta male. You're definitely alpha."

"Really?" I asked. I went on (in seeming beta, self-apologizing style) to list a bunch of reasons why I thought I was beta, as expressed in last-years FB post. "What makes you think I'm alpha?"

"Look at the way you talk. You talk about this project you're doing, that project you're doing, all of them are gaining traction, you're networking with really high-level people and bringing them into your projects. And you're spending all your nights with all kinds of different women as lovers, all of whom know about each other and are happy to be with you (and each other.) Beta's don't talk that way. Or live the lifestyle you now live. You're alpha, dude. Accept it."

(BTW, multiple lovers is NOT necessary to alpha maleness or femaleness. BUT, if you're curious... about how that whole "multiple lovers" thing works, here's a post with the recording of that that Untangled Love audio I sent last summer, along with a newer post reflecting my newly-single status. And yes, I'm single. But that's a whole other story, which I've written about at length on Facebook. Man, I need to catch you all up soon! It's been a while!)

Back to the story at hand: hearing this statement, from a mega-alpha guy in my own field (book writing) whose opinion on these matters I had to respect, was for me the culmination (for now) of a 29-year journey.

I'm 38, but I say 29 years because it probably wasn't till about age 9, in fourth grade, that I started to take on what I would now call the identity of a beta male. (Before that, I was just an innocent kid, obsessed with legos and Super Mario Brothers and the such.) But starting around 4th grade, once the social pecking order started developing in my school, I was not even a beta male on the playground now, but an omega male--the lowest on the totem pole on the playground. (Of course, I didn't use those terms then--I just used the words for myself "dork," and maybe even "dweeb...")

Picked last for sports. No social self-confidence. Social self-hatred.

And, in terms of relating with girls, and then women, throughout the rest of grade school, middle school, high school, and to a lesser extent most of my college years and my 20s (with a few brief exceptions), I was somewhere on the spectrum between innocent and immature cluelessness, to total (and sometimes creepy) awkwardness.

It's a long story how I got from being that man, whose confidence in his own manhood was so low that I was literally thinking about taking my own life right before I was 30--to a man sitting across the table from a famous writer whom I idolize, hearing him tell me, based on what he sees of me, that I'm an alpha. I'll tell that story another time.

It took me a few weeks to integrate AlphaWriterGuy's comment into my psychology, and take on the identity that yes, I have become an alpha.

And as soon as I did, I began to see the world in an entirely new way.

I began to see the world populated by leaders--the alpha males and alpha females--and the followers, the betas. There is nothing inherently 'better" about leaders as opposed to followers. (Followers make up most of any large organization or movement, and implement most of the stuff that gets done. You can't have leaders if there aren't followers. Followers serve a crucial part of any team, and no amount of "we're all leaders" management-nonsense and Everybody-Gets-a-Gold-Star--"EGGS" philosophy--will ever change that.)

So, no, alphas are not better than betas… but they are different. And if you don't make the distinction, if you resist the distinction for politically-correct reasons, or if you are unclear on what the distinction is… the world of social interaction and connection will make much less sense to you and you'll be way less successful in it. Whereas if you grasp these differences, a world of power and opportunity opens up to you.

All of the sudden, after AlphaWriterGuy convinced me I had become alpha, a huge host of insights about being alpha, versus being beta, started popping into my head.

Stay tuned as I share with you exactly how the world looks different (and feels different, and my reality is totally different) now that I see life in this new way, through the eyes as a man who finally owns fully that he is an alpha.

AND, for the ladies.... We are thankfully in an age where you women are rising up as Alpha Females leaders in every field, so if you're reading and you want more power, and you want to make a bigger impact, all of these comments apply just as well towards owning your status and ambition as a powerful alpha female, who is revered and respected by men as well as women...)

***

In the meantime, I want to fill you in on a lot of changes in my life. I've alluded to some of them via the links above, and I don't want to rehash a bunch of old stuff (Jena and I, by the way, are doing AWESOME, our friendship is better than ever, and we still live together--in fact, never stopped living together--now as friends and soul-brother, soul-sister, in NYC.)

My 3rd published book, co-authored with my friend and mentor Bryan Franklin, is completely finished, it is AWESOME (3 years of hard word went into this baby), and it is coming out early next year from the same published as The Education of Millionaires, Penguin/Portfolio. The Last Safe Investment: Spending Now to Increase Your True Wealth Forever - Expect to be hearing a LOT more about this in the coming months!
Since finishing writing that book, almost all of my writing, and my personal life, has been focused on exploring some very... um... kinky stuff. I won't go into too much detail here, but you can read some of my stuff about the dominance and submission I've been exploring in my personal life here, here, and here.
An aritcle I wrote, How to Be a Woman's Best Sexy Friend, became one of the pieces most discussed and shared by women I've ever done--women were writing me left and right, asking how they could find their own BSF. So I decided to create my first business around this, a company devoted to helping all single adults, of all ages, genders, orientations, and walks of life, find friends with whom they can explore their own sexuality. I started this with my new business partner (and former assistant) Kim Howerton. Check out our launch announcement for the company and community here.
I've become obsessed with the crowdfunding-platform of Patreon as a new model for funding cutting-edge work directly from readers/fans as patrons of the arts, without having to "sell" anything. I'm just getting started on that platform, but look out for projects on Patreon that I'm doing with people such as my friend Daniel Pinchbeck, my aunt Barbara Marx Hubbard, and a project I'm REALLY excited about with my friend, the legendary adult actress Nina Hartley (more details soon.)
Oh, and, uh, yeah... I started starring in and co-producing self-funded, DIY, conscious, real, feminist, indie adult entertainment (AKA the four-letter "p" word which trips up email filters!) with my co-producer and lover Muse. Check out some totally SFW behind-the-scenes pics and footage here. We're in the editing phase and this is going to be RADICAL.

As you can tell, a LOT is brewing!

As I go forward, I promise

To keep you more updated than I have in the last few years. It's been a wild ride, the last few years, and I'm ready to start coming out of my email-hibernation and send you all great content on a regular basis again!
To stop hiding so much of my personal life from you on my email list---because that is where my best stuff is these days!
To keep sending you cutting-edge, high signal-to-noise content with zero fluff.

In return, I ask

If you want to see the real me, unleashed, and read the best and most edgy content I've ever read, please stay here, and open and read my emails!
If you're offended by the topics I'm exploring or writing about lately, I kindly ask that you unsubscribe below.

Things are about to get STEAMY in here!

Thank you so much for surfing the waves with me. I can't wait to keep surfing and exploring with you.

Love,

Michael

This message was sent to stevescott@techacq.com from:

Michael Ellsberg | info@ellsberg.com | Michael Ellsberg | 9005 Norwood Ave. | Kensington, CA 94707

Email Marketing by