On Apr 2, 2019, at 12:42 PM, Oren Klaff <oren@pitchanything.com> wrote:
Business deals only work when both sides have this
Have you ever been cold and wet?
Have you ever been sued, or lost a huge account.
It's scary, right? Of course.
But have you ever been cold, wet, and scared?
Last Friday night I was in a business situation involving 15 millionaires, and all of us were cold, wet, and scared.
A huge spray of ice-cold sea water hit me in the face because I was on a boat in the middle of the night barreling forward into high ocean waves outside of Newport Beach harbor.
I saw two of our instructors exchange a worried look.
That's my breaking point: I really hate it when the instructors look worried and nervous.
ESPECIALLY when I'm on a boat wearing no life jacket
I didn't know it yet, but I was about to learn an important lesson about business—and life.
In the pitch blackness, I could only see the waves and about 10 feet in front of the boat. Everything beyond that disappeared into dark.
There were 15 "trainees" gathered around me, shivering from cold and fear, and they looked like a sorry bunch. A few tried to act macho, but you could see it was just an act.
One skinny Asian guy was chattering away about not being able to swim very well and I noticed he didn't have a life jacket.
We had that in common because I didn't have a life jacket either.
As everyone had scrambled aboard the boat, the life jackets ran out. More than a few guys were left without one. Now this Asian kid was claiming he couldn't swim.
"Shut up," said a giant Hawaiian surfer type with tattoos of dragons and mermaids on both arms. "Stick with me, mate. I Was a lifeguard for 10 years. I'll take good care of ya."
The Asian guy nodded while shivering. But I noticed the Hawaiian lifeguard did NOT hand over his life jacket.
As pitiful as these men looked right now, I reminded myself they were all worth at least a few million dollars. These were all CEOs and executives at fast-growing companies.
They were highly successful businesspeople, all were attending this program learn how to be better leaders.
"I'm cutting the motor!" the captain screamed from the helm.
There were shouts from the instructors. The lights were cut too. I could barely see the good size wave coming toward us—and I knew we were facing the wrong way. As the motor died, the wave slammed into the side of the boat, rocking us back to a sickening angle. We were nearly vertical, or sideways or whatever the nautical term is for "flipping over and dying".
I grabbed whatever I could.
Then, slowly, we started to tip forward again, splashing back into the water just as a cold, hard rain started to fall.
One of the instructors grabbed a glow stick, cracked it, screamed loudly, and sprinted towards the trainees, and past them to jump over the edge of the boat into the swirling icy water.
For a moment, we could see him and then he was gone.
Then someone spotted his flickering glow stick, bobbing 30 feet from the boat.
He looked so vulnerable and completely alone.
The instructor was demonstrating to the trainees how life's circumstances can make you alone and helpless.
But then, without warning and without a sound –
- - the skinny, wet and scared Asian guy did something I never expected.
He jumped into the water after the Instructor.
Not supposed to do that. Ever.
Cheers went up from the boat and as more trainees dove into the pitch dark churning sea.
That's not supposed to happen either.
This is just a training mission. You watch the instructor do his thing, listen to the lesson being taught, and stay on the boat.
What was going on here? Why were men in the water?
Turns out, that over the course of 96-hours together, these "Trainees" had become friends and comrades. They had bonded.
And when it felt like one of their friends was in trouble, they leapt into action without a second thought.
(Remember the Hawaiian lifeguard? He never moved an inch. Too scared I guess.)
From my position on the boat, as I was watching these guys jump into the sea, many without life vests, all wearing only shorts and t-shirts -
They were jumping in for only one reason: to help their friends and brothers.
This made me think about that old saying: never do business with friends.
I swore from that moment forward to do the exact opposite.
I told myself I would ONLY do business with friends.
And it turns out the science backs up this strategy:
When you have to collaborate with someone on a business deal, friendship is more important than anything else.
According to a study by the University of Manchester, you're better off working with nobody than working with someone you dislike.
The reason is that when you work with someone you don't like your brain stays in a mild state of threat the entire time and devotes extra resources to monitoring the individual and making sure they don't cheat you somehow.
On the other hand, when you love and respect the people you work with, when you work with friends, your brain can relax and devote all of your mental bandwidth to the project, leading to more creativity and flexible thinking.
Personally, when a deal comes through my office, I won't even start the account if I don't think I'm going to be friends with the people involved.
Let's leave it at this:
Friends come and go, like waves in the ocean,
But only the true ones stay,
Like an Octopus on your face.
Oren
My observations about people and how they behave in stressful situations, especially when they buy and sell from each other led to the book Pitch Anything, and help me understand how to navigate today's complex business world.
I take the time to share these stories with you in recognition that it may give us a reason to connect and work together on a new and interesting project.
If you've got a big idea and want to grow your company (or it's time for you to sell it), there are a lot of ways we can and should work together, let's talk.
Pitch Industries, 5825 Avenida Encinas #110, Carlsbad, CA 92008
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